Page:The Complete Poetical Works of John Milton.djvu/181

 BOOK FOURTH

��Would set me highest, and in a moment

quit

The debt immense of endless gratitude, So burthensome, still paying, still to owe ; Forgetful what from him I still received; And understood not that a grateful mind By owing owes not, but still pays, at once Indebted and discharged what burden

then?

Oh, had his powerful destiny ordained Me some inferior Angel, I had stood Then happy; no unbounded hope had

raised 60

Ambition. Yet why not ? Some other

Power As great might have aspired, and me,

though mean, Drawn to his part. But other Powers as

great

Fell not, but stand unshaken, from within Or from without to all temptations armed ! Hadst thou the same free will and power

to stand ? Thou hadst. Whom hast thou then, or

what, to accuse,

But Heaven's free love dealt equally to all ? Be then his love accursed, since, love or

hate,

To me alike it deals eternal woe. 70

Nay, cursed be thou; since against his thy

will

Chose freely what it now so justly rues. Me miserable ! which way shall I fly Infinite wrauth and infinite despair ? Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell; And, in the lowest deep, a lower deep Still threatening to devour me opens wide, To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heaven. O, then, at last relent ! Is there no place Left for repentance, none for pardon left ? None left but by submission; and that word Disdain forbids me, and my dread of shame Among the Spirits beneath, whom I seduced With other promises and other vaunts Than to submit, boasting I could subdue The Omnipotent. Ay me ! they little know How dearly I abide that boast so vain, Under what torments inwardly I groan. While they adore me on the throne of Hell, With diadem and sceptre high advanced, 90 The lower still I fall, only supreme In misery: such joy ambition finds ! But say I could repent, and could obtain, By act of grace, my former state ; how

soon

��Would highth recal high thoughts, how

soon unsay What feigned submission swore ! Ease

would recant

Vows made in pain, as violent and void (For never can true reconcilement grow Where wounds of deadly hate have pierced

so deep) ;

Which would but lead me to a worse re- lapse 100 And heavier fall: so should I purchase dear Short intermission, bought with double

smart.

This knows my Punisher; therefore as far From granting he, as I from begging,

peace.

All hope excluded thus, behold, instead Of us, outcast, exiled, his new delight, Mankind, created, and for him this World ! So farewell hope, and, with hope, farewell

fear, 108

Farewell remorse ! All good to me is lost; Evil, be thou my Good: by thee at least Divided empire with Heaven's King I hold, By thee, and more than half perhaps will

reign ; As Man ere long, and this new World,

shall know." Thus while he spake, each passion

dimmed his face, Thrice changed with pale ire, envy, and

despair;

Which marred his borrowed visage, and be- trayed

Him counterfeit, if any eye beheld : For Heavenly minds from such distempers

foul

Are ever clear. Whereof he soon aware Each perturbation smoothed with outward

calm, 120

Artificer of fraud; and was the first That practised falsehood under saintly

shew,

Deep malice to conceal, couched with re- venge :

Yet not enough had practised to deceive Uriel, once warned; whose eye pursued

him down The way he went, and on the Assyrian

mount

Saw him disfigured, more than could befall Spirit of happy sort: his gestures fierce He marked and mad demeanour, then

alone, As he supposed, all unobserved, unseen. 130

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