Page:The Comic English Grammar.djvu/71

Rh But our conjunctions are used to connect words and sentences, and have nothing to do with the joining of hands. They are chiefly of two sorts, the Copulative and Disjunctive.

The Copulative Conjunction is employed for the connection or continuation of a sentence: as, "Jack and Gill went up the Hill," "I will sing a song if Gubbins will." "A thirsty man is like a Giant because he is a Gog for drink."

The Conjunction Disjunctive is used not only for purposes of connection, but also to express opposition of meaning in different degrees: as, "We pay less for our letters, but shall have to pay more for our coats: they have lightened our postage, but they will increase our taxes.

Conjunctions are the hooks and eyes of Language, in which, as well as in dress, it is very possible to make an awkward use of them: as, "For if the year consist of 365 days 6 hours, and January have 31 days, then the relation between the corpuscular theory of light and the new views of Mr. Owen is at once subverted: for, 'When Ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise:' because 1760 yards make a mile; and it is universally acknowledged that 'war is the madness of many for the gain of a few:' therefore Sir Isaac Newton was right in supposing the diamond to be combustible."

The Siamese twins, it must be admitted, form a singular conjunction.

A tin pot fastened to a dog's tail is a disagreeable conjunction to the unfortunate animal.

A happy pair may be regarded as an uncommon conjunction.