Page:The Comic English Grammar.djvu/29

 CHAPTER II.

OF THE ARTICLES.

Articles in English are two, a and the; a becomes an before a vowel, and before an h which is not sounded: as, an exquisite, an hour-glass. But if the h be pronounced, the a only is used: as, a homicide, a homœpathist, a hum.

A or an is called the indefinite article, because it is used, in a vague sense, to point out some one thing belonging to a certain kind, but in other respects indeterminate; as,

"A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!"

So say grammarians. Eating-house keepers tell a different story. A cheese, in common discourse, means an object of a certain shape, size, weight, and so on, entire and perfect; so that to call half a cheese a cheese, would constitute a flaw in an indictment against a thief who had stolen one. But a waiter will term a fraction, or a modicum of cheese, a cheese; a platefull of pudding, a pudding; and a stick of celery, a salary. Here we are reminded of the famous exclamation of one of these gentry:—"Sir! there's two teas and a brandy-and-water just sloped without paying!"

The is termed the definite article, inasmuch as it denotes what particular thing or things are meant as,

A substantive to which no article is prefixed is taken