Page:The Comic English Grammar.djvu/17

Rh An improper dipthong is that in which the sound is formed by one of the vowels only, as ea in heartless. oa in hoax.

According to our notions there are a great many improper dipthongs in common use. By improper dipthongs we mean vowels unwarrantably dilated into dipthongs, and dipthongs mispronounced, in defiance of good English.

For instance, the rustics and dandies say,—

"Loor! whaut a foine gaal! Moy oy!"

"Whaut a precious soight of crows!"

"As I was a comin' whoam through the corn fiddles (fields) I met Willum Jones."

"I sor (saw) him."

"Dror (draw) it out."

"Hold your jor (jaw)."

"I caun't. You shaun't. How's your Maw and Paw? Do you like taut (tart)?"

We have heard young ladies remark,—

"Oh, my! What a naice young man!"

"What a bee—eautiful day!"

"I'm so fond of dayncing!"

Again, dandies frequently exclaim,—

"I'm postively tiawed (tired)."

"What a sweet tempaw! (temper)."

"How daughty (dirty) the streets au!"

And they also call,—

Literature, "literetchah."

Perfectly, "pawfacly."

Disgusted, "disgasted."

Sky, "ske—eye."

Blue, "ble—ew."

We might here insert a few remarks on the nature