Page:The Church of England, its catholicity and continuity.djvu/169

 have seen the passages of my life, and by my Prayer Book the greatest secrets between God and my soul; so that you have me at the very bottom; yet, blessed be God, no disloyalty is found in the one, no Popery in the other."

It is from this diary that we are given deeper glimpses into Laud's religious spirit and piety. It is interspersed with prayers which were composed to settle his troubled mind in his daily occupations. Just before he was thrown into prison, he wrote, "I stayed at Lambeth till the evening to avoid the gaze of the people. I went to evening prayer in my Chapel. The Psalms of the day, and chapter fifty of Isaiah, gave me great comfort. God make me worthy of it and it to receive it. As I went to my barge hundreds of my poor neighbours stood there, and prayed for my safety and return to my house. For which I bless God and them." He did not return again to his home. For no toleration was shown to him by those who were opposed to his method of Church government. His dying address further unfolds to us his inner character. In this he prayed for his enemies. But I had better give it in his own words. This is a part of his prayer: "O Eternal God and merciful Father! look down upon me in mercy, in the riches and fulness of all Thy mercies, look down upon me; but not until Thou hast nailed my sins to the Cross of Christ, not till Thou hast bathed me in the blood of Christ, not till I have hid myself in the wounds of Christ, that so the punishment due unto my sins may pass over me. And since Thou art pleased to try me to the uttermost, I humbly beseech Thee, give me now, in this great instant, full patience, proportionable comfort, and