Page:The Bohemian Review, vol2, 1918.djvu/142





Having done with the two brothers, the old Devil went to Ivan. He changed himself into a General, and coming to Ivan began to persuade him that he ought to have an army.

“It does not become a king,” said he, “to be without an army. Only give me the order, and I will collect soldiers from among your people, and form one.”

Ivan listened to him. “All right,” said Ivan, “form an army, and teach them to sing songs well. I like to hear them do that.”

So the old Devil went through Ivan’s kingdom to enlist men. He told them to go and be entered as soldiers and each should have a quart of spirits and a fine red cap.

“We have plenty of spirits,” said they. “We make it ourselves; and as for caps, the women make all kinds of them, even striped ones with tassels.”

So nobody would enlist.

The old Devil came to Ivan and said: “Your fools won’t enlist of their own free will. We shall have to make them.”

“All right,” said Ivan, “you can try.”

So the old Devil gave notice that all the people were to enlist, and that Ivan would put to death any one who refused.

The people came to the General and said: “You say that if we do not go as soldiers the King will put us to death, but you don’t say what will happen if we do enlist. We have heard say that soldiers get killed.”

“Yes, that happens sometimes.”

When the people heard this they became obstinate.

“We won’t go,” said they. “Better meet death at home. Either way we must die.”

“Fools! You are fools!” said the old Devil. “A soldier may be killed or he may not, but if you dontdon’t [sic] go, King Ivan will have you killed for certain.”

The people were puzzled, and went to Ivan the Fool to consult him.

“A General has come,” said they, “who says we must all become soldiers. “If you go as soldiers,” said he, “you may be killed or you may not, but if you don’t go, King Ivan will certainly kill you.” Is this true?”

Ivan laughed and said, “How can I, alone, put all you to death? If I were not a fool I would explain it to you, but as it is, I don’t understand it myself.”

“Then,” said they, “we will not serve.”

“All right,” said he, “don’t.”

So the people went to the General and refused to enlist. And the old Devil saw that this game was up, and he went off and ingratiated himself with the King of Tarakan.

“Let us make war,” says he, “and conquer King Ivan’s country. It is true there is no money, but there is plenty of corn and cattle and everything else.”

So the King of Tarakan prepared to make war. He mustered a great army, provided rifles and cannons, marched to the frontier, and entered Ivan’s kingdom.

And people came to Ivan and said “The King of Tarakan is coming to make war on us.”

“All right,” said Ivan, “let him come.”

Having crossed the frontier, the King of Tarakan sent scouts to look for Ivan’s army. They looked and looked, but there was no army! They waited and waited for one to appear somewhere, but there were no signs of an army, and nobody to fight with. The King of Tarakan then sent to seize the villages. The soldiers came to a village, and the people, both men and women, rushed out in astonishment to stare at the soldiers. The soldiers began to take their corn and cattle; the people let them have it and did not resist. The soldiers went on to another village; the same thing happened again. The soldiers went on for one day, and then for two days, and everywhere the same thing happened.

“Poor fellows,” said they, “if you have a hard life in your own land, why don’t you come and stay with us altogether?”

The soldiers marched and marched: still no army, only people living and feeding themselves and others and not resisting, but inviting the soldiers to stay and live with them. The soldiers found it dull work, and they came to the king of Tarakan, and said, “We cannot fight here, lead us elsewhere. War is all right, but what is this? It is like cutting pea-soup. We will not make war here any more.”

The King of Tarakan grew angry, and ordered his soldiers to overrun the whole kingdom, to destroy the villages, to burn the grain and the houses, and to slaughter the cattle. “And if you do not obey my orders,” said he, “I will execute you all.”

The soldiers were frightened, and began to act according to the King’s orders. They began to burn houses and corn, and to kill cattle. But the fools still offered no resistance, and only wept. The old men wept, and the old women wept, and the young people wept.

“Why do you harm us?” they said. “Why do you waste good things? If you need them, why do you not take them for yourselves?”

At last the soldiers could stand it no longer. They refused to go any further, and the army disbanded and fled.