Page:The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table (1858) Holmes.djvu/213

 Certainly, old folks can't jump,—break the necks of their thigh-bones, (femorum cervices,) if they do; can't crack nuts with their teeth; can't climb a greased pole (malum inunctum scandere non possunt); but they can tell old stories and give you good advice; if they know what you have made up your mind to do when you ask them.—All this is well enough, but won't set the Tiber on fire (Tiberim accendere nequaquam potest.)

There were some clever things enough, (dicta haud inepta,) a few of which are worth reporting.—Old people are accused of being forgetful; but they never forget where they have put their money.—Nobody is so old he doesn't think he can live a year.—'The lecturer quoted an ancient maxim,—Grow old early, if you would be old long,—but disputed it.— Authority, he thought, was the chief privilege of age.—It is not great to have money, but fine to govern those that have it—Old age begins at forty-six years, according to the common opinion.—It is not every kind of old age or of wine that grows sour with time. —Some excellent remarks were made on immortality, but mainly borrowed from and credited to Plato. —Several pleasing anecdotes were told—Old Milo, champion of the heavy weights in his day, looked at his arms and whimpered, " They are dead." Not so dead as you, you old fool,—says Cato;—you never were good for anything but for your shoulders and flanks.—Pisistratus asked Solon what made him dare to be so obstinate. Old age, said Solon.