Page:The Anatomy of Tobacco.pdf/190

 tub enunciated the following sceptical propositions:—Supposing any one to have a pipe containing tobacco in one hand and a matchbox in the other, it is very improbable that this pipe will be lighted. For these reasons: 1. The tobacco may be damp. 2. The pipe may be too full. 3. The pipe may not be full enough. 4. The match may go out (a) of its own volition, (b) by the force of the wind, (c) by the foolishness of the agent. 5. The pipe may be undrawable, (a) because it is stopped up too much, (b) because it is not stopped up enough. 6. The intending smoker may become an idiot, or have a fit, and so be incapable of lighting the pipe. 7. If he be at school he may be interrupted by the archididascalus or one or more of the hypodidasculi. 8. He may change his mind. 9. There's many a slip 'twixt the pipe and the lip. 10. Supposing none of these things happen, and the matter be accomplished, yet it is false to say that the pipe has been lighted; for it is not lighted, but the tobacco that is in it. Which doctrines were no sooner