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Rh when he made out that what he most desired was an account more full and free of Mrs. Newsome's state of mind than any he felt he could now expect from herself. That calculation, at least, went hand in hand with the sharp consciousness of wishing to prove to himself that he was not afraid to look his behaviour in the face. If he was, by an inexorable logic, to pay for it, he was literally impatient to know the cost; he held himself ready to pay in instalments. The first instalment would be, precisely, this entertainment of Sarah, as a consequence of which, moreover, he should know vastly better how he stood.