Page:TheParadiseOfTheChristianSoul.djvu/232

 me! Woe is  me,  that  I was once as  it  were  cherished  in my  Father’s  most  tender  bosom, brought  up  in  his  house, shared his  table,  and  was  in all  respects  as  a son,  in  want of nothing! Now I am  living in a far  country,  a foreigner among strangers  that  know me not,  an  exile,  starving, and naked.

On how  many  accounts have I been  bound,  in  how many ways  been  able,  to  hallow thy  name,  return  thy  love, and glorify  thee,  the  Father of infinite  majesty,  power, wisdom, and  goodness,  anticipated as  I have  been  by  so many  benefits,  and  strengthened by  so  many  aids! I grieve that  I have  not  done so. Behold, to  do  so  for  ever, from this  moment,  is  my  most anxious desire  from  the  inmost depths  of  my  heart.

Oh, how  foolishly  have  I preferred  the  cruel  tyranny of the  world,  the  flesh,  and the devil,  to  thy  sweet  yoke! and now,  wearied  out  in  the way of  sin  and  perdition,  how greedily I long  again  for  my Father’s  kingdom,  the  kingdom of  thy  grace  and  glory, wherein is  peace  and  joy  in the  Holy  Ghost!

Oh, how  many  evils  have  I suffered  from  my  own  perverse will,  by  the  abuse  of which,  in  opposition  to  thy most holy  will,  I have  made myself liable  to  punishment, when I ought  to  have  used  it to  merit  for  myself  an  increase of  grace  and  glory! May, not  mine,  but  thy  most holy will  be  done  by  and  for me henceforward,  for  ever, and in  all  things,  as  it  is  done by the  blessed  in  heaven.

O most bountiful  Father, who satisfiest  thy  elect  with the plenty  of  thy  house,  from which I have  but  too  foolishly separated myself! How many hired servants  in  my  Father’s house abound  with  bread,  and I here perish  with  hunger! Time was,  alas! when I was clothed in  scarlet,  and  fed  with the bread  of  sons; but  now I hardly fill  my  empty  belly with the  husks  of  swine! Oh, that, if  not  as  a son,  yet  at least  as  a hired  servant,  I might  be  fed  again  with  the bread of  thy  grace.

Behold, I cry  out,  prostrate before thee. Father, I have sinned against  heaven  and before thee,  I am  not  now worthy to  be  called  thy  son, make me  as  one  of  thy  hired servants. I am sorry  that  I have  ever  offended  thee. Forgive me, as  I too  forgive  all for thy  sake.