Page:Tales of Bengal (Sita and Santa Chattopadhyay).djvu/47

Rh pearls before swine. Keep your presents for one who will want them."

You looked at me with eyes full of pain. You never expected such words from me. I began to talk at random, as if I had not understood anything. But you did not know what it cost me to hurt you. Perhaps you thought that my heart was made of stone. It is out of such beds of stone the mighty rivers take their birth.

You had come to say something, but it remained unspoken. You went out with a sad and disappointed look. I called in our neighdourneighbour [sic] Manda and began to talk and laugh with her aloud. I am quite sure that you heard me; I meant you to do so.

It was my love for you which made me as hard as flint, I went on striking at your heart mercilessly. I must make you think me cruel and worthless. I must make you forget; I had promised to the old man.

I was born to a heritage of shame and ignominy. I was determined to keep it to myself. I would not allow any one to share it, least of all you. I would not let a particle of my shame rest upon you, and form a stain upon your fair name. So I tried to keep you at a distance from this child of sin. I was afraid that if once I let you guess the secret of my heart, nothing would keep you from me. You would gladly share my burden of shame. But I must not let you. You were the last of a noble family and I an outcast, whom God and man have forsaken. How could two such persons come together?

Once I thought of confessing everything to you. I wanted to hear all you had to say and to tell all that filled my heart. I wanted to tell you what had caused me to behave like a heartless thing and what it had cost me. But I soon gave up the idea. Why make your sorrow greater? You must forget me; then what was the use of Rh