Page:Tales of Bengal (Sita and Santa Chattopadhyay).djvu/39

Rh taken. My room gradually began to take on the appearance of a toyshop. The garden was stripped of its wealth for me. And there also appeared a crowd of little boys and girls. They had been bribed by the good old man to come and make friends with me. I never had any friend, so my whole heart was greedy for them. My benefactor now watched me with a sigh of content. The smile returned to my face.

Gradually the silent old house became home to me. I began to call the old man grandfather. I was called Sunanda by him. I do not know if ever I had any other name.

When I had become a little older he taught me how to worship the god Shiva. I found my greatest joy in that. Grandfather had told me that to the god all can be told, all can be asked of him. Even the greatest of sorrows can be turned into bliss by him. I eagerly believed him. Every evening, as I prostrated myself before the god, I told him all that filled my heart. To men I had nothing to confide. They were nothing to me. I gave them only smiles. My god alone knew of that well of tears which I called my heart.

I lacked neither love nor care in my grandfather's house. But for all that, I never could forget that there was a great difference between myself and other children. He used to feed and bathe me himself, when I was too young to do things for myself, but even in the coldest winter, if he happened to touch me before his prayers, he would go and bathe again to purify himself. To save me pain and mortification he took every care to hide these things from me, but it is hard to deceive one whose eyes have lost the illusions which love gives to every child. Whenever he was detected by me, he shrank away from me, lest I should ask for explanations. But what right had I to complain of anything to man? To my god alone Rh