Page:Susanna Wesley (Clarke 1886).djvu/77

Rh dence with her first-born ; but in March 1707 she wrote him a long and earnest letter, only one passage of which need be quoted here:—

"I have a great and just desire that all your sisters and your brother should be saved as well as you; but I must own I think ray concern for you is much the greatest. What, you, my son, you, who was once the son of my extremest sorrow, in your birth and in your infancy, who is now the son of my tenderest love, my friend, in whom is my inexpressible delight, my future hope of happiness in this world, for whom I weep and pray in my retirements from the world, when no mortal knows the agonies of my soul on your account, no eye sees my tears, which are only beheld by that Father of spirits of whom I so importunately beg grace for you that I hope I may at last be heard,— is it possible that you should be damned? O that it were impossible ! Indeed, L think I could almost wish myself accursed, so I were sure of your salvation. But still I hope, still I would fain persuade my- self that a child for whom so many prayers have been offered to Heaven will not at last miscarry."

Only a few weeks later Mrs. Wesley's heart, as well as that of her husband, was rejoiced by an official intimation that " Sammy " would probably be elected to one of the King's Scholarships at Westminster, which would enable him to go to Oxford. This drew forth another epistle from the wise yet anxious mother. ",

"Though I wrote so lately, yet, having received advice that your election is so much sooner than I expected, I take this opportunity to advise you about it.