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290 the difference. There’s no chance of my becoming a famous biologist and I know it. I’m very much a worker in the ranks. But our Station is a “huge success,” as Sam would say. We’ve made some damned important discoveries. I say “we.” I really mean Preston. You may remember I used to write you about him with enthusiasm. He’s justified it. He is making his name world-famous. He’s what I might have been—I did have the brains, Nina!—if I’d had more guts and less vanity, if I’d hewn to the line!

[Then forcing a smile]

But I’m not lamenting. I’ve found myself in helping him. In that way I feel I’ve paid my debt—that his work is partly my work. And he acknowledges it. He possesses the rare virtue of gratitude.

[With proud affection]

He’s a fine boy, Nina! I suppose I should say man now he’s in his thirties.

[Thinking with bitter sorrow]

So, Ned you remember our love  with bitterness! as a stupid mistake! the proof of a gutless vanity that ruined your career! oh!

[Then controlling herself—thinking cynically]

Well, after all, how do I remember our love? with no emotion at all, not even bitterness!

[Then with sudden alarm]

He’s forgotten Gordon for this Preston!

[Thinking desperately]

I must make him remember Gordon is his child or I can never persuade him to help me!

[Reproachfully]