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more at forty a woman has finished living  life passes by her  she rots away in peace!

[Intensely]

I want to rot away in peace! I’m sick of the fight for happiness!

[Smiling with a wry amusement at herself]

What ungrateful thoughts on my son’s birthday! my love for him has been happiness how handsome he is! not at all like Ned when I was carrying him I was fighting to forget Ned  hoping he might be like Gordon  and he is  poor Ned, I’ve made him suffer a great deal !

[She looks over at Darrell—self-mockingly]

My lover! so very rarely now, those interludes of passion what has bound us together all these years? love? if he could only have been contented with what I was able to give him! but he has always wanted more yet never had the courage to insist on all or nothing  proud without being proud enough! he has shared me for his comfort’s sake with a little gratitude and a big bitterness and sharing me has corrupted him!

[Then bitterly]

No, I can’t blame myself! no woman can make a man happy who has no purpose in life! why did he give up his career? because I had made him weak?

[With resentful scorn]

No, it was I who shamed him into taking up biology and starting the station at Antigua if I hadn’t he’d simply have hung around me year after year, doing nothing

[Irritatedly]

Why does he stay so long? over six months I can’t stand having him around me that long any more!