Page:Strange Interlude (1928).djvu/238

232 Yes, you’re here, Charlie—always! And you, Sam—and Ned!

[With a strange gaiety]

Sit down, all of you! Make yourselves at home! You are my three men! This is your home with me!

[Then in a strange half-whisper]

Ssshh! I thought I heard the baby. You must all sit down and be very quiet. You must not wake our baby.

[Mechanically the three sit down, careful to make no noise— in his old place by the table, at center,  ''on the sofa at right. They sit staring before them in silence''. remains standing, dominating them, a little behind and to the left of ]

[Thinking abjectly]

I couldn’t! there are things one may not do and live with oneself afterwards there are things one may not say  memory is too full of echoes! there are secrets one must not reveal memory is lined with mirrors! he was too happy! to kill happiness is a worse murder than taking life! I gave him that happiness! Sam deserves my happiness! God bless you, Sam!

[Then in a strange objective tone—thinking]

My experiment with the guinea pigs has been a success the ailing ones, Sam, and the female, Nina, have been restored to health and normal function  only the other male, Ned, seems to have suffered deterioration.

[Then bitterly humble]

Nothing left but to accept her terms I love her  I can help to make her happy  half a loaf is better  to a starving man.