Page:Spiritual exercise of soul, and blessed departure of Dame Mary Rutherford Lady Hundaly, and Mary M'Konnel, cousin to the said lady; which fell out in the year 1640; both died in London.pdf/11

 dies and Wounds of Soul to you, which I may do with a sorrowful Heart. Said I, I am heartily content of it: O! if the Lord would so honour and make me that happy, as to be an Instrument of one Dram of Comfort to you! Let me tell you, Lady, this at present, there is no Temptation so foul or hidious that seizes on you but it has befallen others of God's Children, as David, Heman, Manasseh, who had their Faults and Fears, and yet they are pardoned. Said she, My Case is another than theirs was. Said I, I beseech you, let me see any Doubt or Fear ye have whereof I cannot be you the like in some of God's Children, so your Case is not matchless.

Alas (said she) since the Time I thought my self effectually called and converted, I have rushed again into divers grievous Sins and fearful Thoughts, and that willingly and deliberately: What then shall I do? Seeing I was a Hypocrite, and not pardoned.

Said I, Madam, That is false, that he who sins after his Conversion is a Hypocrite, and not pardoned This was David's Case, did he not sin in the very same way, as ye have said? And yet I hope ye will not say that David was a Hypocrite: Have ye any more to say?

More (said she) I will never be able to reckon up what I have to say more: However, with Sorrow, I say that I have long made Defection from the Covenant of Grace, I have revolted and apostatised from God's Way, I have run, I know not, in how many Byways, even since I found some Good working in my Soul, and after I had with Forwardness, and for a long Space continued walking in the Paths of Holiness, I have again broken out and continued a long Time in my Wandrings, without any Care to return to God; and therefore I am afraid my Case is desperate.

Said I, Madam, Has not the Lord promised to heal Israel's Backslidings? And have not ye longed to return, since your Backslidings? Said she, I have had some kind of Longing, but not such as I should have had.

Said I, I see ye would be at Perfection: Beware of that, indeed it is good to aim at no less than