Page:Sorrow-dispenser, or, Humpy Funnydoss' bundle of mirth (1).pdf/3



THE SORROW-DISPERSER. 3

'I like it very much, said the lad, because here we get cow's milk, but at home we only get milkmen's milk.' Loss of a Character.—The following anecdote which we give exactly as the fact occurred, may be considered as an illustration of simplicity and integrity. A respectable farmer of Ross-shire, travelling a short distance on horse-back, having occasion to cross the river Conan, found on the banks of the stream a young woman also desirous of getting across. She informed the farmer that she was in quest of a situation, and had an excellent character from her last place. As the river was high, the good-natured farmer took the girl up behind him on his horse, and conveyed her over the water. Unfortunately, however, the written certificate of character fell out of the young woman's breast, where she had placed it for safety, and was carried off by the stream. She was in great distress at this mishap, till her kind conductor assured her that he would give her a character; and this pledge he redeemed, on their arrival at a house on the opposite side, in the following brief but pithy words:--10th Sept. 1833. These certify that the bearer, Peggy M'Kenzie, lost her character this day, while crossing the river Conan with me, Andrew Monro.' We need hardly add, that this very equivocal statement was given in perfect good faith and sincerity. The girl accepted it with many thanks, but was soon convinced that the honest farmer's words did not correspond with his intentions, and that she required, what it is generally difficult to obtain, a new character. 'Dear me, why does that bald gentleman