Page:Sorrow-dispenser, or, Humpy Funnydoss' bundle of mirth (1).pdf/22

 22            THE SORROW-DISPERSER.

restless nation in the universe; very shrewdly adding, 'they will never be at peace till they are engaged in another war.' The wife of an Irishman having been seized with severe pains, he immediately set about writing a card for the doctor; but before sending it off, the woman had so recovered that a visit from him was considered unnecessary, and, opening the card, wrote the following:--P.S. You will not require to come now, as she is quite better. A young fellow, not just so wise as Solomon, eating Cheshire cheese full of mites one night at a tavern, --'Now,' said he, I have done as much as Samson, for I have slain my thousands. and ten thousands.' 'Yes,' answered one of the company, and with the same weapon too, the  jaw-bone of an Ass.? A prisoner being brought up to Bow Street, the following dialogue passed between him and the sitting magistrate:-- How do you live?' 'Pretty well, sir; generally a joint and pudding to dinner.' 'I mean, sir, how do you get your bread?' 'I beg your Worship’s pardon; sometimes at the baker's, and sometimes at the chandler's shop. You may be as witty as you please, sir; but I mean simply to ask you do? 'Tolerably well, I thank your Worship: I hope your Worship is well.' Three gentlemen being at a tavern, whose names were More, Strange, and Wright, says the last, 'There is but one cuckold in company, and that's Strange' '. Yes,' answered Strange, here is one More. Ay,' said More, that's Wright.' An old schoolmaster, who usually heard his pupils once a week through Watt's Scripture History, and afterwards asked them promiscuosly-