Page:Sorrow-dispenser, or, Humpy Funnydoss' bundle of mirth (1).pdf/21

 THE SORROW-DISPERSER. 21

whom she had omitted to pay the 'usual tributes, when the fellow immediately dragged her off to the watch-house, without any ostensible provocation. She was brought before the police magistrate next morning, when the noturnal guardian charged her with the heinous crime of walking in the streets the preceding night. 'And your soul to the gallice, would you have me walk on the house-tops?' said she. An Hibernian, being asked if he liked salmon, answered, 'Yes, pickled; for,' said he, if I go to market and buy a bit of fresh salmon, it is so stale that it is not fit to be eat. An Irish schoolmaster being asked what was meant by the word 'fortification,' instantly answered, with the utmost confidence, 'two twentifications make a fortification.' An Irish officer, just returned from the West Indies, was dining with Dr Harvey, and several medical men in Dublin. The conversation turned upon tropical climates; and the officer, whose opinion was asked about that of the West Indies, said, 'It is an infernal place; and added, that if he had lived there until that day, he would have been dead of the yellow fever two years ago.' Another of the physicians, without observing the bull, very gravely added, that 'the climate was certainly unwholesome, and that great numbers died there.' 'Very true,' said Dr O'Donnel, but if you'll tell me the country where the people don't die, I will go and end my days there!' A gentleman observing the common crier of Bristol unemployed, inquired the reason. 'I can't cry to day, sir, as my wife is just dead.' A member once remarked in the House of Commons, that the French were the most