Page:Sorrow-dispenser, or, Humpy Funnydoss' bundle of mirth (1).pdf/20

 20            THE SORROW-DISPERSER

of a certain sea-port town. discovered over an admiral's door an escutcheon, and very naturally took it for an alehouse. The gentleman, & ruddy-looking portly man, standing at the door, he clapped him on the shoulder, 'Hallo, landlord, you look like an honest fellow, give us a cup o' the best.' The gentleman, to carry on the joke, ordered his servant to bring him some beer; which being done, the jolly tar drank towards his master's very good health, and inquired what was to pay, which the officer told him, he might settle the next time he came that way. An apothecary ordered his pupil to mix up some medicines for one of his patients, then in great danger; and, on his recovery, expatiated at large on their virtues to the pupil, who observed, that he thought it by no means improbable that the patient might have recovered as soon without their use. 'Impossible,' said the apothecary; and pray what could encourage! such an opinion. 'Why,' replied the young man, 'I forgot to send them.' A Cork Almanack informs its readers, that the principal republics in Europe are Venice, Holland, and America. A person had his fortune told by an astrologer. After having, by the help of ambiguous language, unfolded to this man the events of his life, past, present, and future, then the soothsayer asked for his usual gratuity: 'How is it,' said the inquisitor," that you pretend to know hidden things, are ignorant of my not having a penny in my pocket?' A girl of the town; in Dublin, walking the pavement in pursuit of her 'avocations,' had the misfortune to be known by a watchman, to