Page:Sorrow-dispenser, or, Humpy Funnydoss' bundle of mirth (1).pdf/18

 18        THE SORROW-DISPERSER.

During an examination of a black servant in the Catechism, he was asked by the clergyman what he was made of. 'Of mud, massa,' was the reply: On being told that he should say—-of dust,' he answered, "No, massa, it no do--it no tick together.' 'What a horrible scrape I am in now,' as the fish said to the woman who was rubbing down his back with a knife.  'Master Buggains, come up and tell me who was Cleopatra!' Cleopatra was the sister to one of the Pyramids of Hegypt, and come to her unhappy eend by swallerin' of a wasp.' Good boy, good boy, you'll be a Gibbon one of these days.'  'Friend of my sole,' as the old boot said to the cobbler.  The following naive lover's promise was offered as an irresistible temptation to a filially-given inamorata:-- I like you," sighed the girl to her suitor, 'but I can't leave home. I'm a widow's only darling; no husband can ever equal my parent in kindness. 'She is kind,' pleaded the wooer; 'but be my wife; we will live all together, and see if I don't beat your mother!. An apothecary, being with a large company of his neighbours, boasted that a patient, who had been many months confined to his bed, under the care of another apothecary, was out in twenty-four hours after he had begun to attend him. 'Yes,' replied a person present, 'I know that to be a fact; I met him yesterday going to be buried.' 'Pat,' said a gent. to his servant, what's all that noise in the street!' 'Oh, nothing, sir; they're only forcing a man to turn volunteer.'