Page:Sorrow-dispenser, or, Humpy Funnydoss' bundle of mirth (1).pdf/17

 THE SORROW-DISPERSER. 17

Love at Sight--A servant girl, of no strong intellect, who lived with a lady in the neighbourhood of Paisley, one day surprised her mistress by giving up her place. The lady inquired the cause, and found it was that fertile source of dissension between mistress and maid-servant--a lad. And who is that lad?' inquired the mistress. 'Ou he's a nice lad--a lad that sits in the kirk, just forenent me.' 'And when does he intend that you and he should be married?' 'I dinna ken.' 'Are you sure he intends to marry you at all?" I daur say he does, mem.' 'Have you had much of each other's company?' 'No yet.'  'When did you last converse with him.? 'Deed we hae nae conversed ava yet.' 'Then how should you suppose that he is going to marry you?'  'Ou,' replied the simple girl, he's been lang lookin'at me, and I think he'll soon be speakin.'  'I'm in for a duck,' as the man said when he fell into the river.   A witty gentleman of Philadelphia observing a citizen, who had lost an arm, passing, said he presumed he might be called an off-hand man.  'I wonder how they make lucifer matches, said a young married lady to her husband, about six weeks after they were married, and with whom she could never agree. 'The pro- cess is very simple,' he replied; 'I once made one.' 'Indeed; and pray how did you manage it? 'By going to church with you,' was the brief and satisfactory explanation. Vy is an oyster like a celebrated poet? Because its Shelly. 'Fare reduced,' as the man said who dined on a single cracker.