Page:Sorrow-dispenser, or, Humpy Funnydoss' bundle of mirth (1).pdf/16

 16             THE SORROW-DISPERSER.

'Ven the lady and gen'lmen as keeps the hot-el first begun business, they used to make the beds on the floor; but this wouldn't do at no price, 'cos, instead of taking a moderate twopenn'orth o'sleep, the lodgers used to lie there half the day. So now they has two ropes, 'bout six foot apart, and three from the floor, which goes right down the room; and the beds are made of slips of coarse sacking stretched across 'em.' 'Well,' said Mr Pickwick. 'Well,' said Mr Weller, 'the advantage o' the plan is hobviouş. At six o'clock every mornin' they lets go the ropes at one end, and down falls all the lodgers. Consequence is, that being thoroughly waked, they get up very quietly and walk away.' Why are London females unhappy at three quarters past seven? Because the mails leave at eight. A sea-officer, who had lost his hand by a grape-shot, was in company with a young lady, who remarked that it was a cruel ball which deprived him of his hand. 'A noble ball, madam, for it bore away the palm.' 'Aint I a burster,' as the boiler said to the steam-boat captain, when it blew him sky high. 'Thou art false to me,' as the man said to the plank, which let him down into the water; as he was about to step into a steam-boat. 'My son,' said an affectionate mother to her hopeful heir, who was in a short time to be married, 'you are getting very thin.' 'Yes, mother, he replied, I am; and I expect shortly that you will see my rib.' 'That's smart," as the boy said when the schoolmaster administered the cane to him.  'Come over the moon-light sea,' as the smuggler said to sundry casks of Hollands.