Page:Sorrow-dispenser, or, Humpy Funnydoss' bundle of mirth (1).pdf/15

 THE SORROW-DISPERSER. 15

'Bless your soul, that don't mean me. I'm not a gentleman, not a bit of it. You can't make a gentleman of me no how you fix it.' So saying, he sucked away, and took the responsibility. 'I'm losing flesh,' as the butcher said when he saw a man robbing his cart. A jockey at the Maze races, England, asked an emigrant Yankee if they had any such remarkably swift horses in America? 'Swift!' said Jonathan ; why, I guess we have-I've seen a horse at Balimore, on a sunny day, start against his own shadow, and beat a quarter of a mile at the first heat!' A specimen of the coloured race,' as the fellow said when he saw two negroes running. A Counterfeit.-- A fellow pretending to be in a fit, was carried from the street, in New Orleans, into a grocery store and laid upon the counter, where brandy was poured down his throat, and he recovered. A wag, happening to be present, said the fellow was a rogue, and the fit was a counter-fit! 'One bumper at parting,' as the man said when he ran against a post. A farmer, in the neighbourhood of 'Doncaster, was lately accosted by his landlord thus-- 'John, I intend to raise your rent'. To which John replied -— Sir, I am very much obliged to you, for I cannot raise it myself.' Twopenny Rope--. And pray, Sam, what is the twopenny rope? inquired Mr Pickwick. The twopenny rope ! sir,' replied Mr Weller. 'It is just a cheap lodgin' house, where the beds is twopence a night.' 'What do you call a bed a rope for?' said Mr Pickwick. Bless your innocence, sir, that an't it,' replied Sam.