Page:Sorrow-dispenser, or, Humpy Funnydoss' bundle of mirth (1).pdf/13

 THE SORROW-DISPERSER. 13

One day during term time, as a solicitor, of no gentleman-like appearance, was passing near Lincoln's Inn, with his professional bag under his arm, he was accosted, by a Jew, with Clows to sell, sir, old clows? The lawyer, somewhat nettled at this address, from a supposition that Moses mistook him for an inhabitant of Duke's Place, snatched a bundle of papers from his bag; and replied, 'No, sir; they are all new suits.' 'Recollect, sir,' said a tavern-keeper to a gentleman who was about leaving his house without paying the 'reckoning,' 'recollect, sir, if you lose your purse, you didn't pull it out here.' A gentleman returned from India, inquiring of a person respecting their common acquaintance, who had been hanged after he had left England, was told he was dead. 'Did he continue in the grocery line?' asked the former. 'Oh, no,' replied the other, he was quite in a different line when he died." When does a school-boy's writing-book resemble the hero of Waterloo?--When it's a Well ink'd un (Wellington.)   Soon after Dr Johnson's return from Scotland to London, a Scottish lady, at whose house he was, as a compliment, ordered some hotch-potch for his dinner. After the Doctor had tasted it, she asked him if it was good? To which he replied, Very good for hogs ! 'Then, pray,' said the lady, allow me to help you to a little more of it.'  Why is an Aunt better than an Uncle? --Do you give it up? If you follow the example of the ant, you will never want the assistance of my uncle! (the pawnbroker.)