Page:Sorrow-dispenser, or, Humpy Funnydoss' bundle of mirth (1).pdf/11



THE SORROW-DISPERSER. 11

doing the work which he (the black) had been engaged to do! Cause me hire him for de job,' said Pompey. Ah! and how much do you give him?' 'Four and sixpence.' How is that? you are to have but four shillings, the usual price.' Oh, nebber mind, it's wort sixpence to be gemman leetle while! 'My bark is on the sea,' as the cur-dog said when they threw him overboard. The Peers and the Pledge.--The Marquis of Waterford, Lord Waterpark, Lord Rivers Lord Brook, Lord Lake, the Marquis of Bath, and the Duke of Wellington, are meditating the propriety of 'taking the pledge.' The Earl of Fitswilliam, Lords Portland, Portman, and Portarlington, Viscount Beerhaven, and Lord Alesbury, shake their heads, and won't have anything to do with Father Mathew Cause of Cold.- A wag of a tailor in Balintore thinks it must be mighty cold (a regular American phrase) in Abingdon, for they have no thermometer there, and it gets as cold as it pleases.' A lady at sea, full of apprehension in a gale of wind, cried out, among other petty exclamations, We shall all go to the bottom; mercy on us, how my head swims!'--Zounds, madam, never fear,' said one of the sailors, 'you can never go to the bottom while your head swims.' An Accident anticipated.--Amidst the evolutions of the Glasgow Volunteers one morning on the Green, Colonel Hunter was thrown from his horso. Being immediately surrounded by a crowd of sympathizing friends, who eagerly inquired if he was hurt, ho very quickly allayed their anxiety by crying, 'Oh, never mind; I was coming off at any rate!'