Page:Sons and Lovers, 1913, Lawrence.djvu/221

209 page, her red lips parted piteously, the black hair springing in fine strands across her tawny, ruddy cheek. She was coloured like a pomegranate for richness. His breath came short as he watched her. Suddenly she looked up at him. Her dark eyes were naked with their love, afraid, and yearning. His eyes, too, were dark, and they hurt her. They seemed to master her. She lost all her self-control, was exposed in fear. And he knew, before he could kiss her, he must drive something out of himself. And a touch of hate for her crept back again into his heart. He returned to her exercise.

Suddenly he flung down the pencil, and was at the oven in a leap, turning the bread. For Miriam he was too quick. She started violently, and it hurt her with real pain. Even the way he crouched before the oven hurt her. There seemed to be something cruel in it, something cruel in the swift way he pitched the bread out of the tins, caught it up again. If only he had been gentle in his movements she would have felt so rich and warm. As it was, she was hurt.

He returned and finished the exercise.

“You’ve done well this week,” he said.

She saw he was flattered by her diary. It did not repay her entirely.

“You really do blossom out sometimes,” he said. “You ought to write poetry.”

She lifted her head with joy, then she shook it mistrustfully.

“I don’t trust myself,” she said.

“You should try!”

Again she shook her head.

“Shall we read, or is it too late?” he asked.

“It is late—but we can read just a little,” she pleaded.

She was really getting now the food for her life during the next week. He made her copy Baudelaire’s “Le Balcon.” Then he read it for her. His voice was soft and caressing, but growing almost brutal. He had a way of lifting his lips and showing his teeth, passionately and bitterly, when he was much moved. This he did now. It made Miriam feel as if he were trampling on her. She dared not look at him, but sat with her head bowed. She could not understand why he got into such a tumult and fury. It made her wretched. She did not like Baudelaire, on the whole—nor Verlaine. 14