Page:Sixteen years of an artist's life in Morocco, Spain and the Canary Islands.djvu/14

Rh lapse of a considerable period, I can still realize the melancholy loneliness of my position at the time. As I have already said, the dense fog had penetrated into the cabin, and hung gloomily round a flagging lamp, which had been lighted a week before, and now only served to make darkness visible. Everything was out of place, and stowed away for some necessary scrubbing, previous to the departure of the vessel. I was not able to resist the melancholy influence of the scene of disorder and gloom on which my eyes rested; ― so different from the bright visions which fancy had been painting in such vivid colours during the past few days. The reaction after the feverish excitement consequent on the resolution I had taken, and on the preparation necessary to carry it into effect, came upon me like a sudden chill, and the spirit that had buoyed me up fell at once to zero. Perplexed and disappointed, I threw myself upon a bed, and, like a petted child, fairly wept myself to sleep.

"Isn't you going to get up to breakfast, miss?" said a cockney voice.

"I'm soaking wet," I replied; "can't I go somewhere else?"

"No, miss, you can't," said the voice; "and you'd better to make yourself easy as you is; there