Page:Sermons by John-Baptist Massillon.djvu/307

 an end,  O  Lord,  to  mine  uncertainties  and  to  mine  inconstancy; take from  the  world  that  dominion  which  it  hath  over  my  heart; resume thine  ancient  rights  over  it,  and  no  longer  imperfectly attract me,  lest  I  again  fly  off  from  thee. I am  covered  with  shame at the  eternal  variations  of  my  life,  and  they  make  me  that  I  am  afraid to raise  up  mine  eyes  to  thee,  or  to  promise  a  constant  fidelity. I have  so  often  broken  my  promises  after  swearing  to  thee  an  eternal love;  my  weakness  hath  so  often  led  me  to  forget  the  happiness of  that  engagement,  that  I  have  no  longer  the  courage  to answer  for  myself. My heart  betrays  me  every  instant;  and  a thousand  times  on  rising  from  my  feet,  and  with  mine  eyes  still bathed in  tears  of  sorrow  for  having  offended  thee,  an  opportunity hath seduced  me;  and  the  very  same  infidelities,  of  which  I  had  so lately  expressed  my  abhorrence,  have  found  me,  as  formerly,  weak and unfaithful:  with  a  heart  so  light  and  so  uncertain,  what  assurance, O  my  God! can I  give  to  thee? And what,  indeed,  could I presume  to  promise  to  myself? I have  so  often  thought  that  my resolutions  would  now  at  last  be  constant;  I  have  found  myself  in moments  so  lively  and  so  affecting  of  grace  and  of  compunction,  and which seem  for  ever  to  fix  the  durability  of  my  fidelity,  that  I  now see nothing  which  can  either  be  capable  of  fixing  me,  or  of  affording me  a  hope  of  that  stability  in  virtue  which  I  have  hitherto  been unable to  attain. Let the  danger  of  my  situation  touch  thee,  O my  God! The character  of  my  heart  discourages  and  alarms  me; I know  that  inconstancy  in  thy  ways  is  a  presage  of  perdition,  and that the  versatile  and  changeable  soul  is  cursed  in  thy  holy  books. But, while  yet  sensible  of  the  holy  inspirations  of  thy  grace,  I  will once more  endeavour  to  enter  into  thy  ways;  and,  if  I  must perish, I  prefer  being  lost  while  exerting  myself  to  return  to  thee, O my  God! who permittest  not  the  soul  who  sincerely  seeketh  thee to perish,  and  who  art  the  only  Lord  worthy  of  being  served,  to the  shocking  tranquillity  of  an  avowed  and  determined  rebellion, and to  the  melancholy  idea  of  renouncing  all  hope  of  those  eternal riches  which  thou  preparest  for  those  who  shall  have  loved  and served thee."