Page:Selections from the writings of Kierkegaard.djvu/143

Selections from the Writings of Kierkegaard 141 very presupposition without which my action would be a crime; but still I did not love as did Abraham, for else I would have hesitated even in the last minute, without, for that matter, arriving too late on Mount Moriah. Also, I would have spoiled the whole business by my behavior ; for if I had had Isaac restored to me I would have been em- barrassed. That which was an easy matter for Abraham would have been difficult for me, I mean, to rejoice again in Isaac ; for he who with all the energy of his soul propj'io motu et propriis auspiciis has made the infinite movement of resignation and can do no more, he will retain possession of Isaac only in his sorrow.

But what did Abraham? He arrived neither too early nor too late. He mounted his ass and rode slowly on his way. And all the while he had faith, believing that God would not demand Isaac of him, though ready all the while to sacrifice him, should it be demanded of him. He believed this on the strength of the absurd ; for there was no ques- tion of human calculation any longer. And the absurdity consisted in God's, who yet made this demand of him, re- calling his demand the very next moment. Abraham as- cended the mountain and whilst the knife already gleamed in his hand he believed—that God would not demand Isaac of him. He was, to be sure, surprised at the outcome; but by a double movement he had returned at his first state of mind and therefore received Isaac back more gladly than the first time. . ..

On this height, then, stands Abraham. The last stage he loses sight of is that of infinite resignation. He does really proceed further, he arrives at faith. For all these caricatures of faith, wretched lukewarm sloth, which thinks : "Oh, there is no hurry, it is not necessary to worry before the time comes" ; and miserable hopefulness, which says : "One cannot know what will happen, there might per- haps—," all these caricatures belong to the sordid view of life and have already fallen under the infinite scorn of in- finite resignation.