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 And thus hae I, who for eighteen years was ruled by my wife, got the upper hand; and ony man who is henpickit, as I hae been, should just take the same plan, and his success will be as sure as mine. Andrew Brand aye said to me that a man should wear his ain breeks; and I can mainteen, frae present experience, that a wiser saying is no to be found in the proverbs of Solomon, the son of David. No that Maggie has na tried nows and thans to recover her lost power, but I hae on thae occasions conduckit mysell wi' sie firmness, that she has at last gi’en it up as a bad job, and is now as obedient a wife, as ye'll meet wi' between this and Bothwell. The twa bairns, too, are just wonderfully changed, and are as raisonable as ean be expeckit, a' things considered. Let men, therefore, whether gentle or semple, follow my plan, and tho word henpickit, as Andrew Brand says, will soon slip out of the dictionar.———A Modern Pythagorean.

A clergyman possessing an uncommon share of wit and humour, had occasion to lodge for the night, with some friends, at tho inn of a town, which for certain reasons, we shall denominate Dunse. Requiring the services of a barber, he was recommended by the waiter to Walter Dron, who was represented as excellent at cracking a joke, or telling a story. This functionary being forth with introduced, made such a display of his oral and manual dexterity, as to leave on the mind as well as the body of his customer, a very favourable impression, and induce the latter to invite