Page:Scribner's Monthly, Volume 12 (May–October 1876).djvu/743

Rh about the house, and will learn what it requires a week or two of drill to get through the head of an Irish girl, as to what, and when, and where, and how. Nor do they seem to notice anything, which is the wonderful part of it. Those narrow little eyes, cut bias, seem always either cast down or looking at vacancy, and yet, nothing escapes their observation. Owing to this quickness, one does not dread changing them on the score of stupidity. But one does dread it on the score of obstinacy, for it is next to impossible to make them do anything otherwise than as they learned from the first person who taught them. For instance, one of them would always wet his pastry before baking it, and bring it out shiny, like a German pretzel. Remonstrances were in vain; "all right," was always the answer, but the pastry was always all wrong. We inferred that he had been first taught how to make pie-crust in a German restaurant.

No one understands so well as they, the aggregate value of small quantities, and how to levy constant minute taxes on the family stores. According to the ideas of Western nations, such a propensity forfeits claim to respect, but to them, as to the ancient Spartans, the disgrace lies, not in thieving, but in being found out. Therefore, they resent nothing more than being accused of lying and stealing, and there is nothing, apparently, which they think smarter than to lie and to steal. No matter how kind you may have been, no matter what obligations they may be under: they seem to lack the moral sense which recognizes ingratitude. The China-man who takes care of our garden, a great gambler, and, therefore, often reduced to straits, will come to us when hungry to be warmed and filled, and if he gets opportunity will carry off on leaving the premises, a loaf of bread, a roll of butter, or all the eggs in the hen-house. One soon learns to feel neither surprise nor indignation at these little occurrences, but simply to guard against them as well as may be.

But to return. Another of our experiments was Chee. Chee was a capital fellow, efficient, neat, and a good cook; but possessing a temper which flared up on all occasions, with or without reason. Then he would bang, scold, and mutter in Chinese, and, immediately thereupon, came the announcement:

"You get 'nother boy; I go."

And go he would, house full of company, family sick, or what not. He was such a good servant, otherwise, that we took him back three times, after which we concluded that the next time he left he might stay away. The occasion soon came, for the cunning fellow had learned that our threats of non-payment of wages were as empty air; and, after this, we had no hold on him. He hung about for some weeks, dropping in occasionally or sending a representative spy to see what his chances were, but Chee's day was over. A long-suffering family had rebelled at last, and, in process of time, he became convinced of the fact, and went into the laundry business.

It was comical to see his preparations for leaving. He always got himself up in his best suit, flowing sleeves, pigtail ungirt and swinging about his heels, and hat on his head; for the Chinese don the hat, instead of doffing it, as a token of respect. Thus gorgeously arrayed, he sought us out in whatever part of the house, and bade us a ceremonious farewell. And this seems to be their rule in leaving a place, no matter what the offense. There is none of the hard feeling which so often makes it a matter of dread to discharge an Irish girl. "You no likee me, I go;" and there is the whole of it. And they generally leave everything in order behind them.

So far as we remember, we never parted with but one China-boy who omitted a ceremonious and amiable leave-taking. And he was quite excusable from the Chinese-Spartan stand-point. His feelings were injured, and it happened on this wise. We had occasion to go one day to his caboose, and rushed in upon a swarthy and unknown Chinaman with plate and knife before him, deep in the enjoyment of some "Melican grub." We called upon the Celestial to stand forth—he was a Chinese peddler—and told our incumbent in mild but positive terms, to take his "cousin" to the kitchen for something wherewith to refresh the inner (China) man, and always to ask us and we would do our endeavors to indorse his hospitality. But, at the same time, we straitly charged him never again to hide any one away in his room, or to take any one to board, without consulting us as mistress of the premises. Mild though we were, the mortification of being detected was too much for Sam. He was a favorite in the family, and had been treated with confidence and made a pet of. In five minutes he came to the parlor door and announced:" Madam, I go," and was gone before we could reach the kitchen, where we found dishes standing and everything in disorder.