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Why are young ladies like arrows? Because they are all in a quiver when the beaus come.

Why is a talkative young man like a young pig? Because, if he lives, he is very likely to become a great bore.

An Irishman being informed that it was the intention of the government to call out tho militia, made the following reply:-'I'm hanged if I care when I'm drawn or where I'm quartered.'

Why is a good sermon like a kiss? Do you give it up? Because it only requires two heads and an application!

'I do declare, Sal, you look pretty enough to eat. 'Well, Solomon, ain't I eating as fast as I can?' replied Sal, with her mouth full.

Barber, I think this towel has been in use long enough!' 'It has been used more than six weeks, and no one has ever found fault with it before.'

A romantic youth promenading in a fashionable street of New York, picked up a thimble. He stood awhile, meditating upon the probable beauty of the owner, when he pressed it to his lips, saying, 'Oh that it were the fair cheek of the wearer!' Just as he had finished, a stout elderly negress looked out of an upper window, and said, 'Massa, jist please to bring dat fimble of mine in de entry-I jist drapt it.'

Two Irishmen meeting one day, one of them inquired of the other if he had seen his friend Pat Murphy lately: 'For,' said he, 'he has grown so thin that you would not know him at all. You are thin, and I am thin, but, by the powers, he is thinner than both of us put together.'

'Sambo, whar you get dat watch you wear to meetin' lass Sunday?' 'How you know hab watch?' 'Bekase I seed de chain hang out de pocket in front. Go 'way, nigger!' 'Spose you see halter round my neck, you tink dar is horse inside ob me?'

A person in want of an occupation, and advertising for the same in the Times, informs the world, that 'The advertiser being highly respectable, no retail business will suit.' This gentleman seems to be somewhat less consequential logically than he is personally. His address is given as K.-Should it not have been S.N.O.B.