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What is light?' asked a schoolmaster of the booby of ass. A sovereign that isn't full weight is light,' was prompt reply.

f your sister, while tenderly engaged in a tender con- sation with her tender sweetheart, asks you to bring lass of water from an adjoining room, you can start tho errand, but you need not return. You will not be sed, that's certain-we've seen it tried. Don't forgot s, little boys.

Lord Campbell tells of a judge who wound up a sen- ce of death, at Stafford, for the uttering of a forged -pound note, in this horribly facetious manner:-'And rust that, through the merits and mediation of our ssed Redeemer, you may there experience that mercy ich a duo regard to the credit of the paper currency the country forbids you to hope for here.'

Illustrated with cuts,' said a young urchin, as he drew jack-knife across the leaves of his spelling-book.

Which travels fastest, heat or cold? Heat does; be- so you can catch cold.

Why is an infant like a diamond? Because it is a ar little thing.

A correspondent asks, 'Whom do the papers mean by ur Foreign Relations?' Why, our Cousing-German, course.

Dr. Franklin, talking of a friend of his who had been Manchester dealer, said, "That he never sold a piece tape narrower than his own mind.'

There is a man at Gravesend so mean, that he wishes is landlord to reduce the price of his board, because he as had two of his teeth extracted.

A fop, just returned to England from a continental ur, was asked how he liked the ruins of Pompeii. 'Not ery well,' was the reply; they are so dreadfully out of epair!

During a consultation of physicians on tho character f a Bacchanaliau patient, how to cure his fever, and bato his thirst, the sick man observed, 'Gentlemen, if ou will cure the fever, I will take half tho trouble off our hands, and abate the thirst myself.'