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What are you about, my dear?' said his grandmother to a little boy who was sliding along the room, and casting furtive glances at a gentleman who was paying a visit 'I am trying, grandmamma, to steal papa's hat out of the room, without letting that one see it,' said he, pointing to the gentleman, 'for papa wants him to think that he is out.'

O'Connell, in one of his spoeches in Conciliation Hall told his followers, that if measures injurious to Ireland were brought into Parliament, he would go over to England, and die on the floor of the House of Commons in opposition to them;' and when he came back he would say 'Are you for Repeal now?'

A few days since, a person threw the head of a goose on to the stage of the Belleville Theatre. Cotru advancing to the front, said, 'Gentlemen, if any one amongst you has lost his head, do not be uneasy, for I will restore it on the conclusion of the performance.'

A Liverpool furrior informs those ladies who wish to have a really genuine article, that he will be happy to make them muffs, boas, &c., of 'THEIR OWN SKINS!'

A provincial contemporary is ungallant enough to say that the ladies-Heaven bless 'em!-are never in time except on the wedding-day, and then they wait up all night to prevent being too late in the morning.

An advertisement of cheap shoes and fancy articles, inserted in a certain newspaper, has the following noto bene:-'N.B. Ladies wishing those cheap shoes will do well to call soon, as they will not last long.'

A retired son of St. Crispin, who had amassed considerable wealth, used to put the letters F.R.S. and C. after his name. He translated them thus:-'First Rate Shoemaker and Cobbler.'

'What are you engaged in?' said the head printer of a newspaper establishment to ono of the compositors. In an elopement Stop,' said his interrogator, 'I want you to share in a murder.'

'Make way here,' said a member of a republican deputation, we are the representatives of the people.' 'Make way yourself,' shouted a sturdy fellow from the throng, we are the people themselves.'