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A gent was asked what kiud of 'gal' he preferred for his wife. One,' he said, 'that wasn't prodi-gal, but frugal-a true-gal, and suited to his conju-gal taste.'

Buggins (at breakfast table).–Mary Anne, bring me a egg.'

Finished Daughter. -An egg, if you please, father; an egg, not a egg-pray speak correctly.'

Buggins. A negg is it, my dear-a negg, eh? Well, Mary Anne, instead of ono, you may bring two neggs!'

AN IRISHMAN'S DESCRIPTION OF MAKING A CANNON. Take a long hole and pour brass round it.

The Dublin Commercial Journal has the following: “One of the habitués of the theatre the other evening, talking of female authors, said that, though they have tact, grace, and finesso, they have no creative genius, and seldom produce any perfect work. 'It is easy to see,' said Mrs. L., the actress, 'that it was a woman who gave you birth.'"

A gentleman dining at a fashionable hotel, whose servants were few and far between,' despatched a lad among them for a cut of beef. After a long time the lad returned, and placing it before the faint and hungry gontleman, was asked, 'Are you the lad who took away my plate for this beef?'-'Yes, sir.'— Bless me,' resumed the hungry wit, 'how you have grown!'

'Father,' said a juvenile apothecary, to his learned 'dad,' 'what's the reason they don't use pestles in battle?' 'Pestles, my son, what should they do with pestles in battle?' 'Why, tho Wellington dispatches say the mortars did great execution, and I can't see how, without pestles?' 'Pound away, my son, and don't puzzle mo with your questions. Mortars and pestles do a great deal of damage, without being used on the field of battle.'

A clergyman, coming to a poor woman's cabin, amongst other questions asked her how many commandments there were? 'Truly, sir,' said she, 'I cannot tell.'-'Why, ton,' said he.-'A fine company,' replied she, 'God bless you and them together.'-'Well, but neighbour,' says he, do you keep these commandments?'-'Ah, the Lord in heaven bless you, sir, I am a poor woman, and can hardly keep myself; so how can I bear the charge of keeping so many commandments?'