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'I say, Henry Charles, you have been to Hong-Kong, haven't you?'-'Yes. Well, can you speak China?' 'Y-e-s, a little: that is, I speak brolten china.'

'I shall soon die, Cuffy-I must soon set out upon a long journey.' 'Berry well (replied Cuffy), I guess hab good going, because it's all the way down hill.'

Mr. Hunt, in a lecture on Common Law, has remarked, 'That a lady, when she married, lost her personal identity-her distinctive character-and was like a dewdrop swallowed by a sunbeam.'

To such an extent is veneration for the fair sex carried in San Francisco, that a party of Oregonians stopped to have a dance round an old cast-off bonnet.

Will the galvanic rings cure depression?' asked a lady. What has caused the complaint, ma'am?' asked the doctor. 'The loss of my husband,' mournfully replied the lady, Then you had better get a wedding ring,' answered the doctor.

A gentleman sat down to write a deed, and began with 'Know all women by these presents.' You are wrong, said a bystander, 'it ought to be "know all men."' 'Very well,' answered the other, 'if all women know it, all men will, of course.'

Conductor (very loud).-'Goon, Bill; here's that ugly old cove wot always kicks up such a row, and makes his. self so disagreeable, just got in!'

Driver,-'Oh, as he? Hi've a deuced good mind to pitch im hover, hand break his stupid old 'ed!'

What news to-day?' said a merchant to his friend lately. 'What news?' responded the other, 'nothing, only times are growing better; people are getting on their legs again.' 'Ou their legs!' said the first. 'I don't see how you can make that out. 'Why, yes,' replied the other, folks that used to ride are obliged to walk now; is not that getting on their legs again?'

'What are you going to give me for a Christmas present?' asked a merry damsel of a poor but good young man, who meekly replied, that he had nothing to offer but his humble self. The smallest favours gratefully received,' was the cheerful response.