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An old gentleman of eighty years having taken to the altar a young damsel of sixteen, the clergyman said to him, 'The font is at the other end of the church. What do I want of the font?' inquired the old gentleman. 'I beg your pardon,' said the clerical wit, 'I thought you had brought this child to be christened.'

In a club, the other day, sat two gentlemen, one of whom has attained fame upon canvas, the other upon paper. He of the pencil was remarkably complimentary to him of the pen-so much so indeed, that the latter at length, with a good-natured laugh, exclaimed, 'Why, my good fellow, you really show the versatility of your genius in the most striking light: you prove that you can paint not only in oil, but-in butter!'

Horne Tooke, being asked by George III. whether he played at cards, replied, 'I cannot, your majesty, tell & king from a knave.'

A sign in front of a shop in a village near Exeter, has tho following:-'Kakes and bear, sold her.' An addition in width has been added, to inform the public, that I make my sign a little vider, to let the people know that I sell sider.'

A fire-eating Irishman, covered with wounds received in duels, challenged a barrister, who gratified him by an acceptance. The duellist, unable to stand without support, requested that he might have a prop. 'Suppose,' said he, 'I lean against this milestone?' 'With pleasure,' replied the lawyer, on condition that I may lean against the next.' The challenger burst into a roar of laughter at the joke, and swore ho would not fight so good-humoured a gentleman.

A Glasgow youth walking with his sweetheart along Queen-street of that city, stopped at the door of a pastry cook's shop, and addressing his lady-love, said, 'Now, my dear, what will you take?' She, expecting to be treated to some of the good things of the shop, modestly replied, 'I will take anything you like.' 'Then,' says he, we will take a walk, and marched past the shop.

A gentleman one day observed to Henry Erskine, who was a great punster, that punning was the lowest of wit. 'It is so,' answered Erskine, and therefore the foundation of all wit.