Page:Scots piper's queries , or, John Falkirk's caraches.pdf/17

 something to the poor; what said the mistress I'll let you know there is nothing about this house but what is mine: well, well goodman than you'll let me have nothing, take it all and give me peace: So away they went to bed, the good wife turned her backside toward the good man; and as he was falling asleep she draws up her smock and lets fly in the goodman's shirt tail, which awakened him in as great fright as he had been shot; ay, ay woman what are ye about? what am I about said she: dear woman you're filling the bed. Not I goodman, for when my arse was my own I took care of it, and take you care of it now, its yours, O rise woman and clean the bed and keep your arse and a' the liberty ye had before and more, if ye want it; feigh, feigh, what's this? I'm a dirt.

A ships crew being one time in great distress at sea by reason of a violent storm and being all fallen down to prayer, expecting every moment to go to the bottom: there happened to be an old gentleman a passenger on board with them, who had a great big red nose with drinking ale and whisky: and being all at their all prayers as they thought, a little boy burst out into loud laughter: O thou thoughtless rogue, said the captain what makes thee to laugh in seeing us all on the point of perishing? why said the boy, I cannot but laugh for to think what fine sport it will be when