Page:Scots piper's queries , or, John Falkirk's caraches.pdf/16

 An old soldier being on a furlough from the north of Scotland having got no breakfast, fell very hungry by the way and no ale house being near, came into a farmer's house, and desired they would sell him some bread, or any kind of victuals; to which the surly goodwife replied she never sold any bread, and she was not going to begin with him, he had but three miles and a bittock to an ale house, and he might walk on, as she did fair enough when she gied bits of bread for to beggars. tho' she gied nane to idle sodgers, he had naething to do there awa'. Hout said the goodman, gie m a ladlefu o' our kail, he'z been somebody's bairn before he was a sodger. What's said she there's not a drop in the pot, they're a i the plate before you, then gie'm a spoon and let him sup wi us; The soger gets a spoon, and thinking he could sup all he saw, the first sup he took he spouted back again into the plate and cries out, O my sore mouth, the hide's all off yet since I had the clap: every one thrwoing down his spoon the soldier got all to sup himself; the wife stood cursing and scolding all the while and when he was done, burnt both plate and spoon in the fire, to prevent the clap. So the soldier came off with a full belly leaving the wife dressing the goodman's rigging with a four footed stool for bidding him sup.

A churlish man and a virtuoss wife, one time fell out, because the wife had given