Page:Scots piper's queries , or, John Falkirk's caraches.pdf/14

 shoe-maker, and a taylor,) where they drank heartily all that night, and to morrow until mid day: and their bets were who had the lovingest wife: So they agreed for a trial of their good nature, that every man should do whatever his wife bad him do, as soon as ever he went home; who did not as she ordered him was to pay all the reckoning, which was seven and sixpence: or if all of them did as their wives bade them then they were to pay all alike. So on this agreement they all came away first to the hatters house, and in he goes like a madman, dancing and jumping round the floor, his wife at the time was taking off the pot and setting it on the floor, he still dancing about now says the wife, ding over the pot with thy madness, so he gives it a kick and over it went and that saved him as he had done what his wife bade him do. Then away they go to the taylor's house in he goes dancing likewise, but his wife fell a scolding him: O says he my dear give me a kiss? kiss my arse you drunken rogue, said she, then to her he flies and lays her over the bed up with her petticoats and kisses her arse before them all, and that saved him; then way they went to the shoemaker's, and in he goes very merry, and dancing about as he saw the other two do: saying, come my dear heart, and give me a kiss? go hang yourself you drunken dog, said she: so he must either go and hang himself directly, or pay the reckoning.