Page:Scots piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's carriches (7).pdf/22

 he was falling asleep, she draws up her smoke and lets fly in the goodman's shirt tail, which awakened him in as great fright as he had been shot; ay, ay, woman, what are ye about? what am I about said she: dear woman you are filling the bed Not I goodman, for when my arse was my own I took care of it, and take ye care of it now, it is yours. O rise woman and clean the bed, and keep your arse and a' the liberty ye had before, and more, if ye want it; feigh, what's this, I'm a' dirt.

A ships crew being one time in great distress at sea, by reason of a violent storm and being all fallen down to prayer, expecting every moment to go to the bottom: there happened to be an old gentleman, a passenger on board with them, who had a great big red nose, with drinking ale and whisky; and being all at their last prayers as they thought, a little boy burst out into a loud laughter; O thou thoughtless rogue, said the captain, what makes the laugh, seeing us all on the point of perishing? Why said the boy, I cannot but laugh for to think what fine