Page:Scots piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's cariches (5).pdf/4

 4 Q. What is the effectual cure and in- failible remedy for a scolding wife ? A. The only cure is to get out of the hearing of her ; but the infallible remedy is to nail her tongue to a growing tree, in the beginning of a cold winter night, and so let it stand till sun-rising next morning, and she’ll become one of the peaceablest women that ever lay by a man’s side. Q. What time of the year is it that there are most holes open ? A. In harvest when there are most stubbles. Q. At what time is the cow heaviest? A. When the bull is on her back. Q. Who was the goodman’a muckle cow,s calf's mother. A. None but the muckle cow herself. Q. What is the hkesf thing to a man and a horse ? A. A tailor on a mare’s back. Q. What is the hardest dinner that a tailor ever laid his teeth on ? A. His own goose, though never so well boiled and roasted. Q. How many tods’ tails will it take to reach to the moon ? A.One, if it be long enough.