Page:Scots piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's cariches (5).pdf/18

18 to seven and sixpence; or if all of them did as their wives bid them, then they were to pay all alike. So on this agreement they all came away, first to the hatter's house, and in he goes like a madman, dancing and jumping round the floor, his wife was taking off the pot and setting it on the floor, he still dancing about, ding over the pot with thy madness; so he gives it a kick, and over it went, and that saved him, as he had done what his wife bade him do. Then away they go to the tailor's house, in he goes dancing likewise, but his wife fell a scolding him: "O," says he, "give me a kiss?" "Kiss my arse, you drunken rogue," said she; then to her flies and lays her on the bed, up with her petticoats and kisses her arse before them all, and that saved him. Then away they went to the shoe-maker's, and in he goes very merry, and dancing about as he saw the other two do, saying "Come my dear heart, and give me a kiss". "Go hang yourself you drunken dog, said" [sic] she; so he must either go and hang himself directly, or pay the reckoning.

An honest Highlandman not long since,