Page:Scots piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's cariches (1).pdf/6

 Q. What is the coldest part of a man?

A. His knees.

Q. What is the coldest part of a woman?

A. The back part of her body.

Q. What is the reason, that these three parts of men, women, and dogs are coldest?

A. Fabulous historians say, that there was three little holes broke in Noah's ark, and that the dog put his nose in one, and another the man put his knee in it, a third and biggest hole broke, and the woman bang'd her backside into it; and these parts being exposed to the cold blast, make them always cold ever since.

Q. And what remedy does the man take for the warming of his cold knees?

A. He holds them towards the fire, and when in bed draws his shirt down over them.

Q. And what does the women do to warm their cold parts?

A. The married women turn their backside about to the good-man's belly: virgins, and those going mad for marriage, the heat of their maidenhead keeps them warm, old matrons, whirl'd o'er maidens, widows, and widows bewitch'd, hold up their coldest parts to the fire.

Q. And what remedy does the poor dog take for his cold nose?

A. Stops it below his tail, the hottest bit in his body.

Q. What is the reason the dogs are worse on chapmen, than on other strange people?