Page:Scots piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's cariches (1).pdf/17

 was done, burnt both plate and spoon in the fire, to prevent the clap. So the soldier came off with a full belly, leaving the wife dressing the goodman's rigging with a four footed stool, for bidding him sup.

A churlish husband and a virtuous wife one time fell sadly out, because the wife had given something to the poor; what said he, mistress I'll let you know there is nothing about this house but what is mine, and you're mine, and you're very arse is mine: a well, well, goodman, then you'll let me have nothing, take it all and give me peace: So away they went to bed, the goodwife turned her back side towards the goodman; and as he was falling asleep, she draws up her smock and let's fly in the goodman's shirt-tail, which awakened him in a great fright, as he had been shot; ay, ay, woman, what are ye about? what am I about said she; dear woman you're filing the bed: not I goodman, for when my arse was my own I took care of it, and take care of it now, it's your's. O rise woman and clean the bed, and keep your arse, and a' the liberty ye had before, and more if ye want it, feigh, feigh, what's this? I'm a' dirt.

A ship's crew being one time in great distress at sea, by reason of a violent storm, and being all fallen down to prayer, expecting every moment to go to the bottom; there happened to be an old gentleman a passenger on board with them, who had a great