Page:Scots piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's cariches (1).pdf/10

10 fables, plays, novels and romances; gospel-books, such as the psalm-book, proverbs, and catechisms, are like old almanacks; nothing in vogue, but fiddle, flute, troy, and Babylonish tunes; our plain English speech corrupted with beauish cants, don't, won't, nen, and ken, a jargon worse than the Yorkshire dialect.

Q. Why is swearing become so common amongst the Scots people?

A. Because so many lofty teachers come from the south amongst us, where swearing is practised in its true grammatical perfection, hot oaths new struck with as bright a lustre as a new quarter guinea.

Q. How will you know the bones of a mason's mare at the back of a dyke, amongst the bones of a hundred dead horses?

A. Because it is made of wood.

Q. Which are the two things not to be spared, and not to be abused?

A. A soldier's coat, and a hired horse.

old gentleman and his two sons, being in a company, his eldest son sitting next to him, spoke a word which highly displeased his father: for which his father gave him a hearty blow on the side of the head; a well, said he, I will not lift my