Page:Scots piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's cariches, made both plain and easy.pdf/5

 Q. What is the coldest part of a dog?

A. His nose.

Q. What is the coldest part of a man?

A. His knees.

Q. What is the coldest part of a woman?

A. The back part of her body.

Q. What is the reason, that these three parts of men, women, and dogs, are coldest?

A. Fabulous historians say, that there was three little holes broke in Noah's Ark, and that the dog stopt his nose in one, and another the man put his knee in it, a third and biggest hole broke, and the woman bang'd her backside in it; and these parts being exposed to the cold blast, make them always cold ever since.

Q. And what remedy does the man take for the warming of his cold knees?

A. He holds them towards the fire, and when in bed draws his shirt down over them.

Q. And what does the women do to warm their cold parts?

A. The married women turn their back-sides about to the good-man's belly: virgins, and those going mad for marriage, the heat of their maiden-head keeps them warm, old matrons, whirl'd o'er maidens, widows and widows bewitch'd, hold uP their coldest parts to the fire.

Q. And what remedy does the poor dog take for his cold nose?

A. Stops it below his tail, the hottest bit in his body.

Q. What is the reason the dogs are worse on chapmen, than on other strange people?

A. It is said the dogs have three accusations against the chapmen, handed down from father to son, or from one generation of dogs to another: The first is as old as Æsop the great wit of Ba-