Page:Scot's piper's queries, or, John Falkirk's cariches.pdf/3

 perfect ſpite bites her own tongue with her own teeth; my hearty wiſh is that: all ſuch wicked vipers may ever do ſo.

Q. What is the effectual cure and infallible remedy for a ſcolding wife?

A. The only cure is to get out of the hearing of her; but the infallible remedy is to nail her tongue to a growing tree, in the beginning of a cold winter night, and ſo let it ſtand till-fun-riſing next morning; then she'll become one of the peaceableſt women that ever lay by a than's ſide.

Q. What time of the year is it that there are moſt holes open?

A. In harveſt, when there are ſtubbles.

Q. At what time is the cow heavieſt?

A: When the bell is on her back.

Q. Who was the goodman's muckle cow's call's mother?

A. The muckle cow herſelf.

Q. What is the likeſt thing to a man and a horſe?

A. A taylor and a mare.

Q. What is the hardeſt dinner that ever a talon laid his teeth to?

A. His own gooſe, though ever ſo well build or roaſted.